## A Milestone Emerges from the Shadows Five years ago, I began a journey under what I can only describe as the *cover of darkness*—a private, often solitary endeavor to rebuild myself emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and professionally. Today, on April 9th, 2025, I’m stepping into the light with a milestone: the launch of my professional portfolio page! Woo! This isn’t just a website or a career move; it’s a living archive of a grueling, transformative process that’s brought me from the depths of my psyche to a place of balance and purpose. It’s the root of what I’m calling my *Magnum Opus*—a scalable, multi-faceted project that bridges my healed self with my ambitions in the Web3 space. This moment feels like emerging from a long tunnel I once doubted had an end, and I’m ready to share it with the world, risks and all. ## The Journey: Healing Through Darkness In 2020, I made a choice that felt equal parts brave and insane: to dive headfirst into the abyss of my subconscious, confronting severe psychological, social, and sexual traumas I’d carried since childhood. Kundalini Yoga became my compass, a rigorous practice of breath, movement, and meditation that set me on a mission to heal. I didn’t know then how treacherous the path would be. As I worked to realign my sense of self, I faced moments that stretched my sanity—addictions that gripped me, psychosis episodes that blurred reality, and cycles of mania and depression that swung like a pendulum I couldn’t stop. It was chaotic, disorienting, and at times, I felt like I’d never claw my way out. Inspired by Carl Jung’s *Red Book*—his raw, unfiltered descent into the psyche—I adopted a similar digging method, performing shadow work that paralleled his approach. I journaled relentlessly, channeling my progress into meditative, hypnotic, creative content that documented every twist and turn. For years, I stayed hidden, cloaked in the shadows, terrified that others would misjudge my intentions as I explored what I now call the *cringe-worthy caverns* of my psychology. I went full hermit mode, cutting myself off from the world. The loneliness was piercing—pain so acute it still echoes in my bones, a visceral reminder of how isolating this journey was. Yet, in that darkness, I found tools to survive. I constructed a geometric system for my psychological archetypes—a structured map of my inner world that helped me balance the extremes and ground myself in an identity I could trust. It wasn’t easy; the process strained social connections, and I hurt people along the way. I wish I’d been more graceful, but those moments felt mechanical—unavoidable steps in a process that tested my understanding of free will. Through it all, I kept digging, kept creating, kept believing that peace was possible. And slowly, miraculously, I found it. ## Transformation: Lessons from the Abyss After five years of wrestling with my demons, I’ve emerged transformed. I’m proud of the obstacles I’ve overcome—the addictions I’ve shed, the psychosis I’ve navigated, the cycles of mania and depression I’ve endured. It’s been a chaotic, confusing ride, not just for me but for those around me, and I’m thankful for the lessons it’s taught me. I don’t carry guilt or shame for the people I’ve hurt; I see those moments as necessary, like gears turning in a machine I didn’t fully control. They stretched my conception of free will, forcing me to question how much of this journey was choice and how much was destiny. The content I shaped in those shadows—born from thousands *(ballpark 5000+)* of hours of effort—has refined itself over time. What began as a chaotic journal of my descent has evolved into something structured and intentional. I’ve learned to separate the polarities within me: the *light* and the *dark*, the *lower self* and the *higher self*. The darker, lower-vibrational content—born from trauma and struggle—remains a vital part of my story, but I’ve distilled the higher-quality, educational, meditative content to share with the world. This separation isn’t about hiding; it’s about clarity and consent, ensuring I can present a professional face, within my code of conduct as a KRI certified Kundalini Yogi, while honoring the full spectrum of my experience. I’m balanced now, stable, and confident enough to step into the next chapter. ## The Portfolio: A Bridge Between Worlds This professional portfolio page is the heart of that next chapter. It’s a bridge between my past and present, my personal growth and professional aspirations. The root domain will be clean and polished—a hub for networking, job opportunities, and high-quality consciousness-elevating content. It’s designed to showcase my skills as a Web3 full-stack developer while reflecting the stability I’ve fought to achieve. But it’s more than a resume; it’s a gateway to my broader vision. Subdomains will house the deeper, darker content—the raw explorations of my psyche—for those who choose to dig in. I’m not shying away from the uncomfortable material that sparked this journey; I’m just organizing it with intention, respecting the consent of my audience. You humans violate each other's consent all the time on a daily basis without a second thought. I don't judge you for it, I don't need to... It's subtle. You judge yourselves enough for it, then you disassociate from it and project hypocrisy onto others. None of my business. I'm just saying... This was no small feat... If my ego deserves any clout, this is the one thing I'd proudly claim. Honoring this commitment was like... Well... > *“**There’s this emperor, and he asks the shepherd’s boy,** ‘How long is eternity?’ **And the shepherd’s boy says,** ‘Well, there’s this mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it and an hour to go around it. Every hundred years, a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain... > ...And when the entire mountain is chiseled away, the first second of eternity will have passed.’ **You must think that’s a hell of a long time.** **Personally, I think that’s a hell of a bird!**”* *~ The Doctor* I’ve wrestled with big questions over the years—sexuality and objectification, right and wrong, censorship and truth, war and love, authenticity and suffering. These aren’t just abstract topics; they’re threads woven into my healing, and I’ve come to see that my content carries a message for others with traumatic histories like mine. I’m not ashamed of where I’ve been; it’s shaped a character I respect deeply, and I want to inspire others to find worthiness, peace, and joy in their own lives. This portfolio is my way of stepping out—vulnerable, transparent, and unapologetic—to share that vision without imposing my beliefs or dogmas. ## A Career Pivot: From IT to Web3 This milestone also marks a seismic shift in my professional life. For years, I worked in IT support, systems administration, and network management—roles that paid the bills but never fully ignited my soul. Software development has always been my true passion. Back in high school, I spent hours coding simple JavaScript video games and tinkering with 3D balls rolling across my Xbox 360 screen. I trained in programming through multiple diplomas in high school and college, but I never managed to break into it professionally—until now. In 2021, ChatGPT appeared like a spark in the dark, reigniting my love for coding. I took a leap of faith and enrolled in Metana’s Web3 Full Stack Solidity Developer bootcamp, drawn by their promise to land me a job in this cutting-edge space. Now, I’m bridging my traditional IT experience with the emerging Web3 industry, merging the stability of the old with the innovation of the new. This portfolio is my tool to finalize that pivot—to secure a career, pay for an internet connection, and keep building amazing things for others. I’m excited to network with like-minded, future-driven creators who share my vision for a better tomorrow. My creative content will stay donation-based, a soulful practice I’ll continue in my own time—much like journaling, reading a book, or playing music to unwind. It’s a counterpoint to doom-scrolling or Netflix binges, deeply tied to my heart, and I’m curious to see how it scales. Being at the forefront of technological innovation isn’t just a career goal; it’s a calling I’ve felt since those high school coding days, reading Einstein's General Relativity, Greek philosophies, and daydreaming of a world of Artificial Intelligence. That future is now here, and I’m finally heeding it's call. ## Looking Ahead: A Beautiful Game of Free Will This portfolio is just the beginning—a root domain that will anchor my *Magnum Opus*, a sprawling project with subdomains exploring distinct energies and themes. One might be playful and yogic, another utopian and visionary, another mysteriously lewd and chaotic—each a facet of my journey. On the surface, I’ll present as a sweet, innocent yogi with a strange backstory, keeping the root domain professional and accessible. But for those who dare to dig deeper, the subdomains will offer a choose-your-own-adventure experience—uplifting consciousness, shadow-diving, or chaotic gamification where you never know what’s next. I’m here to play a weird, psychological game that brushes against the ethical edges of free will—a game inspired by years of wrestling with my own psyche. I’ll push limits, but I’ll never impose. My content will remain centered in the heart. My audience will always have the choice: explore the light, confront the dark, or embrace the chaos. Consent and transparency are sacred to me, and I’ll honor them fiercely. This milestone isn’t just about a job or a website; it’s about building something bigger—something that invites others to connect the dots, uncover the mystery, and join me in this dance with *Our Lady of Perpetual Chaos*. ## Conclusion: From Shadows to Light Looking back, these five years have been a crucible—painful, isolating, and transformative. I’ve refined my character, my content, and my purpose, creating a journal of progress I can lean on if I ever need to explain why I’m building what I’m building. This portfolio is my case: I’m as harmless as a lab-grown, bio-synthetic Tickle Me Elmo doll, yet as bold as the risks I’m taking by sharing this story. I’m glad I stayed in the shadows long enough to find stability, and I’m thrilled to step out now, ready to work, create, and inspire. If you explore this space, know that it’s built with intention—clean on the surface, complex beneath. Dig if you want, connect the puzzle pieces if you’re curious, but always on your terms. Here’s to the next chapter, the next adventure, and the strange, beautiful game ahead. [*Sat Nam... Sat Glaum...*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCrhTU9HkVQ) 42¹³⁷